The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle

Screwing up makes one better.
Bjork: "The more we generate impulses, encountering and overcoming difficulties, the more scaffolding we build.  The more scaffolding we build, the faster we learn."   
Charles Darwin:  "I have always maintained that excepting fools, men did not differ much in intellect, only in zeal and hard work." 
Brain Insight #1:  All actions are really the result of electrical impulses sent along chains of nerve fibers.
Brain Insight #2:  The more we develop a skill circuit, the less we're aware that we're using it. 
Myelin (a dielectric electrically insulating) material is critical to this process.  The main purpose of a myelin layer (or sheath) is to increase the speed at which impulses propagate along the myelinated fiber.  It is represented by the yellow part in both pictures.   







Myelin operates by a few principles:

• The firing of the circuit is paramount. 
• Myelin is universal--one size fits all skills. It doesn't care who you are, only what you do.
• Myelin wraps--it doesn't unwrap.  Therefore, the only way to break a habit is to myelinate new circuits.
• Age matters.  Genes do not change as one grows older, but the ability to build myelin does. 

World-class expertise in any domain requires roughly a decade of deliberate and committed practice:  Ten Year Rule

"Excellence is a habit."  Aristotle

The Bronte sisters became great writers not in spite of the fact that they started out as immature and imitative but because they were willing to spend vast amounts of time being and energy being immature and imitative, building myelin. 

Rule 1:  Chunk It Up
"Just take one step at a time."
     Absorb the whole thing:  Spend time seeing the desired skill as a single coherent skill.  Anders Ericsson says, "We are prewired to imitate."
     Break it into chunks:  Break a goal into its component pieces and progress through each piece.
     Slow down:  Football coach Tom Martinez says, "It's not how fast you can do it.  It's how slow you can do it correctly." 

Rule 2:  Repeat It
Spending more time is effective, but only if you are at the edge of your capabilities, attentively building and honing circuits. 

Rule 3:  Learn to Feel It
"divine dissatisfaction":  Martha Graham


"Every great and commanding moment in the annals of the world is a triumph of some enthusiasm."  Ralph Waldo Emerson

How a learner sees himself will have a staggering difference on what is accomplished.  A study was done with a group of children asking how long they expected to play an instrument.  Those who intended to play all their lives saw themselves as musicians.  With the same amount of practice, the long-term commitment group outperformed the short-term commitment group by 400 percent.  The long-term-commitment group with a mere twenty minutes of weekly practice, progressed faster than the short-termers who practice for an hour and a half.  When long-term commitment combined with high levels of practice, skills skyrocketed.  In other words what a learner brings to the first lesson is more important than anything the teacher can do, or any amount of practice. 

Motivation is not as simple as saying I want X.  It's saying I want X, so I better do Y like crazy now. 

The unconscious mind is able to process 11 million pieces of information per second, while the conscious mind can manage a mere 40.  This disproportion pints to the efficacy and necessity of relegating mental activities to the unconscious. 

True to the findings of Carol Dweck's work, the value of effort and slow progress rather than innate talent or intelligence is what matters.  Therefore, it is affirming the struggle that ignites learners. 

There are lessons to learn from KIPP.

Talent Whisperers:

• Quiet, even reserved
• Listen more than talk
• Their eyes are sharp and warm and are deployed in long, unblinking gazes in order to figure out the learner
• Rather than giving pep talks or inspiring speeches, they spend most of their time offering small, targeted, highly specific adjustments
• Extraordinary sensitivity to the person they are teaching, customizing each message to each student
• Continually push the learner to the next level

       Example:  John Wooden

Skill is insulation that wraps neural circuits and grows according to certain signals. 

                                                                                                                                                                         

IGNITION          DEEP  PRACTICE        TALENT

 

*MASTER COACHING from ignition to deep practices. 

 

The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace by Gary Chapman and Paul White

To buy copies of the book in bulk visit appreciationatwork.com  It is also available in other languages. 

Chapter 1:  What Employees Want Most

All of us thrive in an atmosphere of appreciation. 

Recognition vs. appreciation:

• Recognition is largely about behavior.  Appreciation focuses on performance plus the employee's value as a person.
• Recognition is about improving performance and focuses on what is good for the company.  Appreciation emphasizes what is good for the company and good for the person.
• Recognition is to-down while appreciation can communicated in any direction.

Appreciation "misses the mark" loses its impact when it is demonstrated it is not communicated in the receiver's primary appreciation language.

Chapter 2:  Why Appreciation Is a Good Investment

While 89% of managers feel employees leave for more money, the reason most employees leave a job are psychological in nature--including not feeling valued or trusted.  Gallup reports that 70% of the people in the U.S. receive no praise or recognition in the workplace. 

This is extremely important as researchers have found that employee turnover is one of the most significant causes of declining productivity and sagging morale in the workplace.  The employees most likely to leave are those who are the most talented, well-trained, and have the capability to make a positive contribution to the organization. 

What factors impact employees' level of satisfaction on the job?  The level of satisfaction is significantly influenced by the degree to which the employee feels appreciated by those around them--and engaged in their workplace and organization.  Employee engagement impacts customer satisfaction which can be the difference between success and failure.

Chapter 3:  Words of Affirmation--Appreciation Language #1

Praise for Accomplishments
Effective verbal praise is specific

Affirmation for Character
Character looks beyond performance and focuses on the inner nature of a person.  The character of an organization's employees is one of a company's greatest assets.    Character traits are in the long run far more important to an organization that specific accomplishments. 

Praise for Personality
Examples:  optimistic, neat, planner, logical

How and Where to Affirm

• Personal One-on-One
• Praise in front of others--Some research has shown that praise given in the context of a smaller group is more valued than awards given in front of a large group
• Written affirmation
• Public affirmation

If words of affirmation are to be most effective, they must be given in the context of a positive, healthy relationship...and they must be sincere. 


Chapter 4:  Quality Time--Appreciation Language #2

Quality Time means giving the person your focuses attention.  It is not proximity but personal attention. 

• Quality Conversation:  Emphatic dialogue where two individuals are sharing their thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context.  The focus is on hearing. 

        Maintain eye contact
        Give undivided attention
        Listen for feelings as well as thoughts
        Affirm feelings even if you disagree with their conclusions
        Observe body language
        Resist the impulse to interrupt

• Shared Experiences

Examples:  Going to conferences together, going out to eat, attending an event

• Small Group Dialogue

Some people do not feel comfortable talking to their supervisor one-one-one.  They feel less intimidated and more likely to share their thoughts in small group where the supervision is asking for ideas and suggestions. 

• Working in close proximity with coworkers in accomplishing a project

Spending time with others requires a positive attitude. 


Chapter 5:  Acts of Service--Appreciation Language #3

True leadership requires a willingness to serve others--either one's customers or one's colleagues.

How to serve effectively

• Make sure you own responsibilities are covered before volunteering to help others.
• Ask before you help.  "Would you like me to help you with that?"
• Sere voluntarily
• Check your attitude.
• If you are going to help, do it their way.  Ask, "How would you like me to do this?"
• Complete what you start.  If you can only give limited assistance, let the receiver know that upfront. 

Ask employees and colleagues (or supervisor!):  "Is there anything I could do for you that would make your work easier?"


Chapter 6:  Tangible Gifts--Appreciation Language #4

Giving a gift to someone who doesn't really appreciate gifts has little impact; the wrong gift can actually create an offense. 

The focus of this appreciation language is primarily on nonmonetary gifts.

The Who and What

1. Give gifts primarily to those individuals who appreciate them. 
2. Give a gift the person values.  Give a survey to find out what the person enjoys, his interests, etc.

Time off can be an extremely effective gift. 

Bringing in bagels or donuts (or chocolate) is another gift to show appreciation. 


Chapter 7:  Physical Touch--Appreciation Language #5

The touch that makes you feel affirmed may not make another person feel affirmed. 

There are benefits of physical touch in the workplace--beyond the concerns:  Appropriate touch has been shown to positively affect educational learning, emotional healing, and to create a sense of acceptance.

Cross-cultural researchers have found that a pat on the back is almost universally accepted as an act that communicates acceptance.


Chapter 8:  Your Least Valued Language

A person's lowest language of appreciation really is not important to them.  If we do not understand that this only makes them different, not weird, we can come to resent those who have a different language of appreciation.  We may feel that they are ungrateful, negative, and unappreciative. 

Successful managers seek to understand the other person's point of view. 

Communicating in our least important language takes more effort; it doesn't come naturally.  Yet, if this is the #1 primary language of someone else, it would behoove us to intentionally take the necessary time. 


Chapter 9:  The Difference Between Recognition and Appreciation

The vast majority of employee recognition programs aren't working. 

Recognition limitations:

1. Recognition focuses primarily on performance.  Appreciation focuses on the value of the individual employee.  All employees need appreciation, not only the high achievers.  Those who receive the rewards may be motivated to continue their high level of performance, but those who don't receive the reward probably won't be motivated.  Plus, when we feel appreciated, we are motivated to "climb higher."  When we don't feel appreciated, we tend to settle into mediocre performance.
2. Missing half the team: Words of Affirmation and Tangible Gifts don't reach everyone's desire for appreciation.
3. "Top-Down" Recognition:  Appreciation can involve everyone.
4. Significant Financial Cost

Recognition and reward programs can be ok, but an emphasis on appreciation and encouragement holds far greater potential.


Chapter 10:  How Appreciation Works in Different Settings

Appreciation in can work in any kind of work setting--manufacturing firms, family-owned businesses, schools, nonprofit organizations, businesses that provide financial services, medical/dental offices, churches, law, government, etc.


Chapter 11:  Volunteers Need Appreciation Too

Sometimes volunteers are more costly to the organization than the value of the work they complete.  Also, why they begin to volunteer is quite different than why they continue to volunteer.  The reasons they continue to volunteer fall into two categories:  social connectedness and perceived impact.  Most volunteers want to "make a difference."  Therefore, if we want to show them appreciation we need to address these two categories rather than rely on demonstrations of appreciation that has the feel of "one size fits all." 


Chapter 12:  Can a Person's Language of Appreciation Change?

Under certain circumstances, like an illness or death in the family, or different life stages or different people may change a person's primary language of appreciation for a certain period of time. We can ask, "Would this be helpful or meaningful to you?"  We need to remember that people are experts on themselves. 

The best managers are those who know their people well, continue to get to know them, and make appropriate changes as needed. 


Chapter 13:  Overcoming Your Challenges

The question is not, "Do you appreciate your workers?"  The real question is, "Do they feel appreciated?"

Challenges:

1. Busyness:  The best way to overcome busyness is to prioritize. 
2. The Belief That Communicating Appreciation is Not Important for Your Organization
3. Feeling Overwhelmed with Existing Responsibilities:  Accept the resistance of others and encourage them to volunteer to participate when they are ready. 
4. Structural and Logistical Issues
5. Personal Discomfort with Communicating Appreciation
6. The "Weirdness" Factor: 

• Acknowledge it
• Relate to other life experiences--learning or doing something new
• Provide tools to get past the weirdness like saying, "I know you probably think I am doing this because of the language of appreciation training, but I really do...."  Or use humor to diffuse the situation.
• Give the benefit of the doubt to coworkers and accept their actions as being genuine.

Chapter 14:  What If You Don't Appreciate Your Team Members?

First:  Sort out of own issues.  We may have unrealistically high expectations of our team, expecting more than they are capable of performing.  If we are driven, we may drive others which can sometimes be quite overbearing.   If this fits us, we must minimize our expectations so that we can genuinely appreciate the hard work of those we supervise.  This includes those who may "get under our skin."

Second:  The issue is performance.  Some reasons people underperform:  1) low work ethic, 2) not adequately trained for their responsibilities, 3) the organization does not have in place an effective process for review, feedback, instruction, correction. 



Chapter 15:  The MBA (Motivation by Appreciation) Inventory

Core principles:

1. There are different ways to communicate appreciation and encouragement to others.
2. An individual will value a certain language more than another.
3. The most effective communication of appreciation and encouragement occurs when the message is sent in the language of appreciation most valued by the receiver.
4. Message of appreciation and encouragement in languages not valued by the recipient will tend to miss the mark. 

Nurture Shock by Po Bronson & Ashley Merryman

Chapter 1:  The Inverse Power of Praise

Giving kids the label of "smart" does not prevent them from underperforming.  It might actually be causing it.

Carol Dweck says, "Emphasizing effort gives a child a variable that they can control...Emphasizing natural intelligence takes it out of the child's control, and it provides no good recipe for responding to a failure." 

Research is concluding that having high self-esteem doesn't improve grades or career achievement.  In other words, praise, self-esteem, and performance don't rise and fall together.  It is the kind of praise given that matters. 

Children scrutinize praise for hidden agendas. Excessive praise can cause children to interpret it as meritless.  They may also start doing things merely to hear the praise and lose sight of intrinsic enjoyment.  They may come to see failure is something to avoid at all costs and "seriously consider cheating."

People with persistence can sustain their motivation through long periods of delayed gratification.  One who grows up getting too frequent praise and rewards will not have persistence because they quit when the praise or reward disappears. 

The brain is a muscle.  Therefore, when it deals with something hard, it gets bigger.  This is what children (and adults!) need to understand.

Chapter 2:  The Last Hour

Research is showing not merely that sleep matters--but how much it matters not just to academic performance and emotional stability, but to phenomena that we assumed to be entirely unrelated, such as the international obesity epidemic and the rise of ADHD. 

Sadeh's found from his research, "A loss of one hour of sleep is equivalent to [the loss of] two years of cognitive maturation and development." 

Another researcher, Dr. Matthew Walker, explains that during sleep, the brain shifts what was learned during the day to more efficient storage regions of the brain.  The more you learned during the day, the more you need to sleep that night.  During sleep, the gene that is essential for synaptic plasticity, is activated.  This results in new inferences, associations, and insights the next day. 

Research is concluding that there is no statistical correlation between obesity and media us.  If the television is turned off, children usually choose other sedentary behavior.  Studies point to that on average, children who sleep less are fatter than children who sleep more.  This is even truer for children than for adults. 

Chapter 3:  Why White Parents Don't Talk About Race
Some important research findings:

• Children aren't color-blind, even those who attend diverse schools.
• Parents who explicitly talk about race with their children as early as age 3, the children have better attitudes about differences.
• Children are developmentally prone to in-group favoritism; they're going to form these preferences on their own. The attribute they rely on to categorize is the one which is most clearly visible.  Once a child identifies someone as most closely resembling himself, the child likes that person the most.
• Going to integrated schools gives you just as many chances to learn stereotypes as to unlearn them.  Children can self-segregate within the school. Diverse schools don't necessarily lead to more cross-race friendships.  Often it is the opposite.  In other words, sending a child to a diverse school is no guarantee that he or she will have better racial attitudes than children in homogeneous schools.  The more diverse the school, the more the kids self-segregate by race and ethnicity within the school.  More diversity translates into more division between students.
• To be effective, conversations have to be explicit, in unmistakable terms that children understand.
• Minority children who hear messages of ethnic pride are more engaged in school and more likely to attribute their success to their effort and ability.
• The more a culture emphasizes individualism (like in the U.S.), the more children form and join distinctive subgroups (cliques) to meet the need to belong. 
• Light-skinned blacks and Anglo-appearing Hispanics feel their status within the minority group to be more precarious.  Therefore, they act more in keeping with their image of the minority identity, even if it is a negative stereotype. 
• If minority children hear preparation-for-bias warnings too often, they are less likely to connect their successes to effort, and much more likely to blame their failures on others (such as teachers) who they perceive as biased against them. 

Chapter 4:  Why Kids Lie

People simply cannot tell when kids are lying.  Kids learn to lie much earlier than we presumed., and they grow into lying.  In studies where children are observed in their homes, four year olds lie once every two hours, while a six year old will be about once every hour.  Few kids are an exception. 

The qualifying role of intent seems to be the most difficult variable for children to grasp.  Any false statement--regardless of intent or belief--is a lie. 

Lying is an advanced skill.  It demands both advanced cognitive development and social skills.  Lying usually starts out to avoid punishment so children, at first, lie indiscriminately whenever punishment might be a possibility.  Children become hooked to lying by about age 7 if it has become a successful strategy for handling difficult social situations. 

For children, the problem with lying is that you get punished.  Young children believe profanity (swearing) is lying because you get punished for it.  This association of lying and getting punished can distract the child from learning how his lies impact others. 

Young children lie to make the adult happy.  They feel that good news--not the truth--is what will please the adult. 

Children learn from adults that honesty can create conflict.  Encouraged by so many white lies, children learn to become comfortable with being disingenuous. 

Adults need to be careful how they handle tattling.  While it may appear that the tattling is incessant, it may very well be that the child has dealt with the issue numerous time by himself and just reached a saturation point.  Children soon learn the power of "Don't Tell" and silence one another with it. 

Chapter 5:  The Search of Intelligent Life in Kindergarten

A number of scholars have warned of classifying young children on the basis of a single early test result.  This admonition came most strongly from those actually writing the tests. 

In a meta-analysis of some studies, scholars concluded that the correlation between emotional intelligence and academic achievement was only 10 percent. 

IQ scores show some variability in the early years.  From age 3 to age 10, two-thirds of children's IQ scores will improve, or drop, more than 15 points.  This is especially true among bright kids--their intelligence is more variable than among slower children. 

Chapter 6:  The Sibling Effect

One of the best predictors of how well two siblings get along is predetermined before the birth of the younger child.  It has nothing to do with parents.  The predictive factor is the quality of the older child's relationship with his best friend.  Kids who can play in a reciprocal, mutual style with their best friend are the ones who have a good rapport with their young siblings, years. later.  In other words, older friends train on then friends and apply it to their siblings rather than the other way around. 

The skills needed to get along with one's best friend is a stronger predictor of a strong sibling relationship than age spacing or gender. 

Chapter 7:  The Science of Teen Rebellion

The most common reason teens lie is to protect their relationship with their parents--they don't want to disappoint them.

Kids who go wild and get into the most trouble have parents who don't set rules or standards. 

It's essential for teens to have some things that "none of your business" in order to help them develop autonomy. 

As far as rules, parents need to set a few rules over which they have some influence, explain why these rules are necessary, and then be consistent in enforcing them.  Effective parents also find ways to be flexible with rules if the child presents a good argument as to why a rule needs to be changed.

The teen brain can think abstractly, but not feel abstractly--at least, until it has had more experience to draw upon.  Therefore, saying to a teen, "Why did you do it? 

Didn't you know it was a bad idea?" doesn't mean much because feeling is what would make them realize it would be a bad idea. 

Chapter 8:  Can Self-Control Be Taught?

Good intentions must not be mistaken for good ideas.  Examples are the D.A.R.E. drug prevention program and many dropout prevention programs.  Interventions inspire few people to change their behavior.  Interventions for children are even more of a challenge since developmentally, children are a moving target. 

The program Tools of the Mind [http://www.toolsofthemind.org/] suggests that during playtime, children learn basic developmental building blocks necessary for academic success.  Through this program children learn how to concentrate. 

Chapter 9:  Plays Well With Others

The more educational media the children watched, the more relationally aggressive they were. 

Not surprising, research finds that the more a child is spanked, the more aggressive she becomes.  Yet, this doesn't hold true for black children.  Research has discovered that when spanking is an accepted practice, it becomes "the normal thing that goes on in this culture when a kid does something wrong."  Conversely, in the white community, physical discipline was a mostly-unspoken taboo.  In other words, children respond to the intent of the parent that the physical discipline itself. 

According to the science of peer relations, there's one big problem with lumping all childhood aggression under the rubric of bullying.  It's that most of the meanness, cruelty, and torment that goes on at schools isn't inflicted by those we commonly think of as bullies, or "bad" kids.  Instead most of it is meted out by children who are popular, well-liked, and admired.  The "zero tolerance" is not the answer to address bullying.  Kids make mistakes because they are still young--neurological immaturity.  It does not do any good to label nonaggressive kids as "good" kids as they might lack the savvy and confidence to assert themselves as often. 

Kids who are "bistrategic controllers" meaning that they achieve the right balance and the right timing for kindness and cruelty are the most popular and most well-liked kids.  Children who watched a lot of educational television are far more relationally aggressive, but they are also most prosocial with classmates as well. 

While overwhelming kids' schedules with activities, predominantly segregated by age, they are being fed the need for peer status and social ranking...and not eliminating peer rejection and aggression. 

Chapter 10:  Why Hannah Talks and Alyssa Doesn't

Infants need a live human speaker to learn language.  This is why language learning can't be left to DVDs. 

New research is indicating the central role of the parent is not to push massive amounts of language into the baby's ears; rather the central role of the parent is to notice what's coming from the baby, and respond accordingly.  In other words, notice how the baby is contributing to the conversation!  How a parent responds to a child's vocalizations--right in the moment--seems to be the most powerful mechanist pulling a child from babble to fluent speech.

Although Hart and Risley's research emphasized the difference in vocabulary used in different socioeconomic homes, it also supports these findings.  They found that there was a real gap in how parents responded to their children's actions and speech. 

Another critical finding--grammar teaches vocabulary, not the other way around. 

Conclusion:

We need to drop two assumptions:  1)  all things work in children in the same way they work in adults--Fallacy of Similar Effect and 2) positive traits necessarily oppose and ward off negative behavior in children--Fallacy of the Good/Bad Dichotomy.  Because of this kids can be walking contradictions.  Yet, by studying these contradictions closely, we can find deeper understanding about kids. 

Bully Nation by Susan Eva Porter

INTRODUCTION
The way we currently think about, measure, and understand aggressive behavior is problematic. 
Three reasons why our approach to bullying is bad for everyone:
      #1:  We're using ineffective and damaging language to describe the situations that arise between kids.
      #2:  In our desire to protect kids from emotional pain, we have expanded the definition to almost any behavior that has the potential to make a child feel bad.
      #3:  With the expanded definition of bullying, we expect kids to behave, and to learn from their behavior, in ways that are often well beyond their developmental capacities. 

CHAPTER 1:  The Problems with Bully Language
     #1:  Only one side of the story
When children are seen as bullies, there is little that they can say to successfully defend their actions or to shift the onlooker's perspective.
     #2:  It makes things easier, not better
Bully and victim labels deny us the opportunity to contemplate the shades of gray, and to instruct our children to do the same.
     #3:  Ignore context, lose compassion
Context provides explanations, not excuses.
     #4:  The us vs. them mentality
It's much easier to address the situation with labels than to do the work necessary to understand what's going on. 
     #5:  The presumption of guilt
Bully language--using bully and victim labels--allows us to use "guilty until proven innocent."  Bullies are often not given rights because they have been labeled bullies.
     #6:  The string of pearls effect
When a child is labeled a bully, this has the effect of coloring everyone's view of that child's past and future behavior.  This then takes on more weight and import than the current behavior merits and is like an albatross around the child's neck.  The question remains, When does a bully stop being a bully?
     #7:  When you use labels, you lose parents
When children are labeled as bullies, their parents become alienated.  Devising helpful strategies isn't the rationale behind Bully Language.  Bully Language is about assigning blame and creating the illusion of simple solutions.  Bully Language focuses on the problem rather than a solution.
     #8:  Makes children the enemy
     #9:  It pits children against each other
Having to go to school with people who have been labeled a bully makes the prospect of having a functional coexistence harder.  To say a child is a bully is to cast his/her character in stone, and we have no control over someone else's character. 
Once we see ourselves as victims we have even more difficulty than usual moving on from our painful experiences.  When kids believe they are victims, they also believe that their bad feelings are justified--that they have a right to hold onto them long after the events that caused them have passed.
     #10:  It creates a fixed mindset instead of a growth mindset  (Carol Dweck's work!)
The fixed mindset is quick to attack character as the problem, not circumstance, and thus there is a feeling of less hope about resolving conflicts.  Labels promote a fixed view of a given situation, and the players therein, and suggest to children that their actions are inseparable from their characters. Labels such as bully, victim, and bystander contribute to fixed mindsets.
Bully Language is not the most effective way to help children learn from their mistakes, deal with their feelings, or develop new behavior.  We need to remember that children are young people whose brains are not yet fully developed and potential has not yet to be realized.

So, when does a bully stop being a bully?

When he or she stops being called a bully.

 





CHAPTER 2:  The Definition of Bullying Inhibits Resilience
The commonly accepted definition of bullying promotes victimhood, not resilience, and this is terribly problematic considering that resilience is an essential ingredient for success in life. 
The original definition of bullying was very specific, and it hinged upon the notion of coercion.  Bullying now includes such behaviors as "making mean or rude gestures," "spitting," spreading rumors," and "leaving someone out on purpose." 

Who gets to determine when bulling has occurred?

 

The explosion we're seeing in bulling is due to our expanded definition of it, not to a shift in behavior, and this fact alone should serve to calm us all down. 

 

Once critical thinking is abandoned, and feelings become the primary guide, we're in trouble as a culture.

 

Columbine:  The Turning Point

It turns out Columbine had nothing to do with bullying.  The boys did what they did for complex reasons, bullying not being one of them. 

 

Resilience--The psychological ability to bounce back, overcome adversity, and deal with the many challenges of life.  To develop resilience we have to be tested.  It's how we deal with a hardship that both strengthens and demonstrates our resilience.  Just as wind is a critical element for trees to become strong, obstacles are the wind for us.

 

Victimhood and resilience are antithetical.  To be a "bully survivor" is to remain tied to the painful experience and to be defined by it.  This is not resilience. 

 

Helicopter Parenting and the New Definition of Bullying

The new definition of bullying says much more about today's parenting than it does about childhood aggression.  Parents are different today.  They want to hover.  Bullying got added to their job description.  It's important to note that kids don't have more problems; it's just that parents hear more about the problems.

Helicopter parents send the message that their children shouldn't problem-solve on their own, they should seek help immediately when they feel distressed, and that their self-esteem will be crushed if they have to jump over some social hurdles.  The focus is on pain. 

 

Pain, Pain Go Away

The definition of bullying has ballooned for one primary reason:  many of us want to prevent children from feeling pain. 

Once a situation is labeled as bullying, the issue of resilience no longer matters, and this is problematic. 

When children's feelings become fact, this doesn't leave them with any problem-solving tools.

 

Sticks and Stones

The new version of this saying is Sticks and stones can break my bones and words can really hurt me accepts an insult rather than reject it as the original version did.  Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." 

 

CHAPTER 3:  Zero Tolerance Sets Kids Up to Fail

Zero Tolerance is a fixed mindset solution to a fixed mindset problem.  Children aggression isn't so clearly cut. 

Zero Tolerance doesn't acknowledge that kids are different at every stage of their growth. 

When in comes to managing aggressive impulses, every child will fail at some point because every child makes mistakes along the way when dealing with frustration or anger--every one of them, not just the "bad" kids. None of us develop a skill without a lot of messing up mightily along the way.  Zero Tolerance doesn't allow for this.  

It is harder to focus our efforts on what children need to learn and how we can teach them than to institute policies and laws in hopes that they will do the work--but they don't. 

Policies and legislation presume that a punishment will change a child--often in a day.  Mistakes don't indicate that children aren't making an effort or that they aren't headed in the right direction.  Of course, children need to be held accountable for their behavior, but mistakes are an essential part of the learning. 

Zero Tolerance does not value resilience, it values victimhood.  Children learn that power lies in their ability to embrace their pain, not in moving through challenges.   

 

Intent: 

A child's capacity for intent is very different than an adult's.  It is both foolish and unproductive to create adult consequences for childhood misbehavior.  With Zero Tolerance problems are defined in an ironclad way and solutions are not suited to fit the situation. 

 

Bystander: 

You are a bystander, and you are as guilty as a bully,  Even if you are five, or eight, or 12 years old, you're guilty?  Yes, this is what being a bystander now means to our children.  This is a heavy burden to put on children.

 

RESOURCE:  Izzy Kalman, author of Bullies to Buddies. 

 

CHAPTER 4:  Helping Children:  The GRIT Approach

 

     Question #1:  When I am faced with a problem involving childhood aggression, do I approach the situation with a growth mindset?

     Question #2:  Am I responding or reacting to this situation?

     Question #3:  How should I intervene?

     Question #4:  What do I need to teach and what do the children need to learn?

 

GRIT is a frame of mind.  GRIT is ultimately about resilience.  They need to see the adults around them exhibiting this grit.

 

G:  Growth Mindset  (Carol Dweck's work)

Negative labels never serve children, and especially not when learning is the goal. 

Most important tenet of a growth mindset:  change--in ourselves, others, and circumstances--is possible.  Therefore, we must using Bully rhetoric.  We have to get beyond labels and look instead at behavior.  With a growth mindset, the focus is on behavior and not on character. 

To develop resilience, children need to understand that effort does matter.  They need accurate feedback, whether it is negative or positive. 

 

R:  Responding versus Reacting

Responding is about being thoughtful, cool-headed, and patient.  In other words, do what will turn the heat down. 

Children make lots of mistakes as their brains develop, and many of these mistakes are what we now call bullying. 

As adults we have the ability to step back use parts of our brain that children can't because they aren't developed, yet.  Kids need us to use our Adult Brain--impulse control and empathy--when dealing with their mistakes or inappropriate behavior. 

Before acting, we need to ask ourselves:  Are my actions coming from my Adult Brain?

When we react, we do so immediately.  When we respond, we employ our Three Second Delay which gives us time to put our Adult Brain in gear.

 

I:  Interventions

Our primary responsibility is to keep children physically and emotionally safe.  Interventions need to begin where the risk of harm is the greatest. 

 

Discipline:  Clarity--children are clear about expectations and know adults are in charge, Consequences--they serve as both punishment AND instruction that fit the individual child, Consistency, and Change--child's age and maturity are factors that affect the discipline approach

 

If we focus on solutions rather than problems, we will be hopeful. 

 

Final thoughts about interventions:

1. They're children--They deserve the benefit of the doubt
2. Whatever they did, the behavior/incident in question isn't the whole picture
3. Whatever we do or say to a child, will have a huge impact
4. We may or may not be the appropriate person to intervene
5. Seek advice and support

FINAL THOUGHT:  If we can place our emphasis on resilience rather than on success and happiness, we will do a better job of ensuring that our children will experience success and happiness. 

 





The Artistic Edge by Lisa Phillips

Chapter One:  The Audition

There is a major disconnect between the knowledge students absorb at school and their ability to use that knowledge.  The missing piece is leadership skills which can be achieved through the arts.  Engaging in music, dance, theatre or visual arts provides young people with the competitive edge they need to achieve in every aspect of their lives.  Studying the arts can help in any career.

Chapter Two:  The Left Brain, Right Brain Difference

The more young people do, the more they learn.  The more they learn, the more new connections are formed in the brain.  These connections help children to use information in new and different ways. 

Book:  Habits of Mind by Arthur Costas

People:  Eric Jensen and Daniel Pink

Chapter Three:  Reaching Beyond the Box

As the offshoring of information work continues, the jobs that will be left for North American workers will be conceptual tasks.  To perform these conceptual tasks well, North American workers must have highly developed creative and communication skills. 
The failure of education:  If we learn mainly in an environment in which answers are either right or wrong, we will expect every problem in the whole world to have a right or wrong answer. 
It would be better to teach children to think creatively as suggested by Harry Chapin his song,
Flowers are Red
by Harry Chapin The little boy went first day of school
He got some crayons and started to draw
He put colors all over the paper
For colors was what he saw
And the teacher said.. What you doin' young man
I'm paintin' flowers he said
She said... It's not the time for art young man
And anyway flowers are green and red
There's a time for everything young man
And a way it should be done
You've got to show concern for everyone else
For you're not the only one And she said...
Flowers are red young man
Green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than they way they always have been seen But the little boy said...
There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in the flower and I see every one Well the teacher said.. You're sassy
There's ways that things should be
And you'll paint flowers the way they are
So repeat after me..... And she said...
Flowers are red young man
Green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than they way they always have been seen But the little boy said...
There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in the flower and I see every one The teacher put him in a corner
She said.. It's for your own good..
And you won't come out 'til you get it right
And are responding like you should
Well finally he got lonely
Frightened thoughts filled his head
And he went up to the teacher
And this is what he said.. and he said Flowers are red, green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen Time went by like it always does
And they moved to another town
And the little boy went to another school
And this is what he found
The teacher there was smilin'
She said...Painting should be fun
And there are so many colors in a flower
So let's use every one But that little boy painted flowers
In neat rows of green and red
And when the teacher asked him why
This is what he said.. and he said Flowers are red, green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen.

The Importance of Play: 
We are born creative, but it is educated out of us.  Young people who participate in artistic pursuits are able to sustain their creative, innovative, and playful urges throughout their lifetime.
"Every child is an artist.  The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up."  Pablo Picasso

Chapter Four:  Fear is the Biggest Hindrance to Success

"If you're not prepared to be wrong, you'll never come up with anything original."  Ken Robinson
We need to give young people lots of opportunities to succeed.  Confidence comes from competence, and competence comes from practice.  Practice involves learning from trying and making mistakes.
"An essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail."  Isaac Newton
The great thing about the arts is that the focus is not on right and wrong answers.
"We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit."  Aristotle
"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."  Albert Einstein

Chapter Five:  What Do I Do?  Seeing Problems as Exciting Challenges Waiting to be Solved

Dr. Nido Qubein:  "Life does not offer what we need.  It offers what we deserve, and if we want to deserve more, we have to become more valuable.  Our value is directly determined by the size of the problems we are able to solve.  If we want to be more valuable, we have to be able to solve bigger problems.  The best problem solvers are those who focus on results rather than obstacles."

If negativity is taken out of the equation, problems are simply what young children know them to be:  opportunities to be creative.  "Inside of every problem is an opportunity."  --Robert Kiyosaki  The point is, the way we see a problem defines our ability to solve it.

6 Things Adults Inadvertently Do To Discourage the Development of Problem-Solving Skills

1. Giving children the right answer instead of letting them discover it for themselves
2. Setting limits on possibilities
3. Lack of patience/persistence
4. Being afraid to ask for help
5. Not asking enough questions
6. Poor modeling

Chapter Six:  Anything Is Possible 

One:  Always see the potential in young people and do whatever you can to foster it.
Two:  Material successes in life are nice, but what matters is making a difference in the life of a child.
Three:  Encourage the dreams of others, as you never know the impact it may bring.

"Do not follow where the path may lead.  Go instead where there is not path, and leave a trail."  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Kids need to feel a significant sense of achievement and be acknowledged for it.

Arts-involved children:

• Get better grades
• Have higher rates of college enrollment
• More likely to volunteer in their communities, vote, and become involved in local politics
• More optimistic about what is ahead of them
• More likely to set and achieve goals

The arts teach kids how to have an idea and see it through to fruition.  The arts teach them to push beyond the boundaries of what they think they are capable of achieving. 

Dreams do not become reality without effort on the part of the dreamer; work ethic is an essential element. 

Chapter Seven:  It's All About Accountability 

There are two main reasons why taking responsibility is an important skill that too many of us lack:  1)  there is a common misconception in our society that making mistakes is a character flaw which leads to fear of failure and 2)  an underdeveloped sense of empathy.

We do not achieve in isolation.  Asking for help is usually a sign of strength. 

Accountability and Education:  Too many students fail to see a connection between the way they perform in class and the grade they receive for the class.  One reason for this is grade inflation.  Making a child feel good about himself should not come at the expense of teaching them the values of hard work and perseverance.  We need to focus less on protecting children and more on giving them opportunities to step up and take responsibility for their actions. 
"it is wrong and immoral to seek to escape the consequences of one's acts."  Gandhi

The arts can help build accountability in a number of different ways:

• Develop empathy for others--the effect of one's actions on others

Similarly to joining a sports team, simply being part of a dance or music ensemble or theater production breeds empathy and fosters accountability. 

• Overcome the fear of failure and the consequences of their failures.

The best thing we can do for students is let them know it is acceptable to fail.  Feedback is meant to challenge them to push beyond what they think they are capable of achieving.  This helps cultivate an attitude that learning is never done and to achieve success, they must persist. 
"He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else."  Benjamin Franklin

Chapter Eight:  The Lost Art of Conversation

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."  George Bernard Shaw

Limits of Technology:  Just because we interact more often than we used to, it does not mean that the quality of our interaction is better.  Technology can make us lazy in our interactions.  According to Nido Qubein, effective communication has three basic components:  1) connect with the audience, 2) convey messages the audience understands, and 3) check the audience's responses to what you are saying.  Relying heavily on electronic communication does not allow for any of these. 

The arts can help with communication.  The Washington State Arts Commission states that, "the arts are languages that all people speak--that cut across racial, cultural, social, educational, and economic barriers."  Understanding words and body language to our advantage is key to success in life.  The arts teach this in countless ways. 

"The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said."  Peter Drucker

Chapter Nine:  Change is the Only Constant

"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives.  It is the one that is the most adaptable to change."  Charles Darwin

"If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."  Lao Tzu

Creative, right brain skills will allow young people to adapt better to a constantly changing world and changing job marketplace.

If we are only trained in academics, we do not know what to do when the formula we have been taught do not produce the right answer to a new problem. 

Chapter Ten:  The Curtain Call

Malcolm Gladwell in his book Outliers repeatedly mentions the "10,000-Hour Rule," stating that the key to success in any field is, to a large extent, a matter of practicing a specific task for a total of about 10,000 hours.  This is true whether learning to play the piano or developing leadership skills.  Teachers must be intentional in what they do when teaching the arts and developing leadership skills so children will learn what they need from the experience. 

At the end of the book the author lists a number of " How Will You Know" questions for of the areas:  1)  develop creativity, 2) develop confidence, 3) develop problem-solving skills, 4) develop a positive mindset in order to dream big, 5) develop communication skills, 6) develop relationship building skills, 7) develop accountability, and 8) develop adaptability. 

Great Lives by Sterling W. Sill & Dan McCormick

This is such a wonderful book that not only can inspire educators to create a life of excellence, but also help the young people they teach do the same. I really like the fact that the authors chose to highlight women and people of color as well as white males.   I tried to capture the main theme of each chapter, but I would highly encourage people to get a personal copy so as to enjoy the complete richness of the book. 

Chapter 1:  Your Hall of Fame
Thomas Carlyle said, "Great men taken up in any way are very profitable company, for we cannot so much as look upon a great man without gaining something from him." 

Chapter 2:  This Is The Best of Me
"You may judge a man more truly by the books and the papers that he reads than by the social companions that he keeps."  In this book Sterling W. Sill says that each life he chooses to spotlight will say, 'This is the best of me.'

Chapter 3:  Your Own Biography
Everyone should write an autobiography in which he gives proper attention to the good things about his own possibilities.

Chapter 4:  Ralph Waldo Emerson 
"No good idea was ever allowed to get away."
When Emerson had an idea, he wrote it down immediately in a journal and put it in his mental incubator so the idea could grow. 
Some things that made Emerson successful:

1. Concentrate
2. Get the spirit of our particular success
3. Clean out all the discords
4. Practice self-control
5. Meet life on terms made to your order
6. Domesticate those prolific periods of fertility

Shakespeare said, "There is a tide in the affairs of men which, taken at its flood, leads on to fortune; omitted, all the voyages of our lives are bound in shallows and miseries.  On such a full sea are now afloat, and we must take the current when it serves or lose our ventures." 

Chapter 5:  Winston Churchill
"I felt as though I was walking with destiny."
Churchill was always at his best when fighting against overwhelming odds. 
His life was distinguished by many things, including character. 

Chapter 6:  George Washington Carver
"The American with the worst start and the best finish--no alibis."
The controlling motive of his life was that he wanted to know.  He possessed high ethical standards and religious principles.
He always signed his letters, "Your humble servant in God." 
He said that every man owes it to himself to leave the soil a little richer than when he found it. 

Chapter 7:  Leonardo Da Vinci
"Saper Vedere"  (knowing how to see)
Leonardo da Vinci understood the value of hard work.  His life serves as an example of our productive potential.  It should remind us of the need to write down on paper our ideas, our thoughts, our dreams, for they too can become a masterpiece with enough concentration and study. 

Chapter 8:  Benjamin Franklin
" A Quest for Perfection"
Ben worked with, and prayed over, and worshipped ideas.
Franklin wrote 13 qualities he wanted to acquire and then worked on each one at a time:  Temperance, Silence, Order, Resolution, Frugality, Industry, Sincerity, Justice, Moderation, Cleanliness, Tranquility, Chastity, Humility

Chapter 9:  Mohandas K.  Gandhi
" A Man of Principle:  to Believe was to Act."
Gandhi's greatness lay in doing what everyone could do, but did not do.
From Gandhi we learn we need to merely develop the God-given qualities with which each of us in endowed.

Chapter 10:  Colonel Robert G. Ingersoll
"Without thoughts, words are empty purses."
Ingersoll said that to become an orator one should study language.  He should become familiar with great poetry and fiction as well as be a student of Shakespeare.  He says that an orator knows exactly what he wishes to say...and stops when he is finished. 
We could solve many of our problems by an increased skill in communication.

Chapter 11:  Joan of Arc
Joan of Arc once to the general when facing an almost impossible objective, "I will lead the men over the wall."  The general replied, "Not a man will follow you."  Joan said, "I will not look back to see whether anyone is following or not." 
Joan's soul was the embodiment of nobility and righeousness.

Chapter 12:  Abraham Lincoln
"The things I want to know are in books..."
In him was combined the greatness of real goodness and the goodness of real greatness.
One admirable side of Lincoln's character is revealed by the fact that he kept two of hims most bitter enemies in his cabinet because he wanted their frank criticisms and honest suggestions.

Chapter 13:  Madame Curie
"I will not cease to work for it as long as I live."
One of the first decisions the Curies made was that they would not patent their process of extraction, but rather they would give it freely to help science cure disease.
Only when the human elements of diligence, intelligence, and persistence in someone like Madame Curie go to work do the elements of nature find their usefulness and value. 

Chapter 14:  Napoleon the Great
"I may lose battles, but no one will ever see me lose minutes."
Napoleon's life was highly concentrated, well-focused, and one-directional. He had a remarkable singleness of purpose. 
Napoleon believed that if one was to make history he must first know history.  Therefore, he nourished his mind with the study of great books and great authors. 
Napoleon was wrong in his goals, but his effort was billiant. 

Chapter 15:  Horatio Nelson
"Success was in his blood." 
Nelson loved and desired and lived great qualities of personality that became his own, according to the universal law of attraction:  "That which we love and admire and desire, we get."

Chapter 16:  Jesus of Nazareth
"Nothing Can Bring Us Peace, but a Triumph of Principles."
...there are very few under takings more profitable than to study the biographies of great men and women.  As we become familiar with the best traits in the lives of others, we naturally appropriate their ideas and adapt their virtues for our own use.

Chapter 17:  The Prophet Job
"Suffering has a Purpose."

Chapter 18:  Socrates
"Know thyself."
Socrates was called a philosopher which means "a lover of wisdom."
Socrates said, "  A good man ought not to calculate his chances of living or dying.  He ought only to consider whether he is doing right or wrong."

Chapter 19:  Antonio Stradavari
"A Philosophy of Excellence"
From the very beginning this young boy was destined to be famous, for while Antonio was making violins, the violins were making Antonio.  What one does, and the way one does it, builds character that forms a priceless philosophy of life that can distinguish the person forever. 
A philosophy of excellence underlines and determines one of the most important principles of any success.
Our lives can become rich in every aspect when excellence is our goal. 

Chapter 20:  Booker T. Washington
"I expect to have a successful, pleasant day."
Booker believed that when one can grow to the point where he loves his work, he received a kind of strength that is invaluable.

Chapter 21:  George Washington
"Unquestioned Devotion to Duty and Right"
The secret of Washington's success lay in the strength of his character.  Washington won the independence of the American states, not so much by what he knew or even what he did, but because of what he was.

Chapter 22:  Sterling W. Sill
" A Lover of Books, A Seeker of Truth, and A Believer in Greatness"
Sill devoted every spare moment in his life to meeting the great heroes of the past through what he called the majesty of books, including Shakespeare and the Harvard classics.  He always read with a pen in hand to mark and record ideas.

Conclusion
Each of should create our own Hall of Fame and place people in it that will inspire us to to upward reach. 
Oliver Wendell Holmes said, "A mind once stretched to a new idea never returns to its original dimensions." 

Diary of a Bilingual School by Sharon Adelman Reyes and James Crawford

Diary of a Bilingual School

Reviewed by Barbara (McCauley) Lovejoy ---January 12, 2013

Title:  Diary of a Bilingual School

Author(s):  Reyes, Sharon Adelman and Crawford, James

Publisher:  DiversityLearningk12 LLC

ISBN:  978-0-9847317-0-1; Pages: 120; Year: 2012

 

Rather than being a book about how to align dual immersion with the latest standards and/or mandated testing, this book is a book about possibility.  This contributes to the uniqueness of the book and makes it a worthwhile contribution to the field of bilingual education and dual immersion. 

The purpose of this book was to answer two questions, how dual immersion programs actually work and what makes them effective.  The authors effectively answered these these two questions through narratives and analysis of a second grade classroom in Chicago’s Inter-American Magnet School that had implemented an 80-20 dual immersion model. 

The eight chapters of the book are divided into three main parts—Fundamentals, Narratives, and Outcomes.  Each chapter begins with a relevant quote to catch the reader’s interest.  Within each chapter there are bold headings that contribute to easy readability and  help the flow of the content. 

Chapter One focuses on how two languages enhance creativity and academic success.  To support this premise, the authors used the work of a number of researchers and experts in the field.  The work of  Krashen regarding affective filter and comprehensible input in order to acquire both language and content is mentioned.  The zone of proximal development, a Vygotsky concept, is also mentioned.  The review in this chapter is extremely helpful for those new to bilingual education and/or dual immersion as well as being a beneficial review for those who are knowledgeable about the topic. 

Chapter Two focuses on the dual immersion features and the constructivist guiding principles that contribute to an effective dual immersion program.  Some of the dual immersion features mentioned were: additive biliteracy, mix of language groups, sheltering, language separation (including the use of code-switching), linguistic balance, classroom resources, long-term approach, instructional consistency, assessment, personnel quality, professional collaboration, and home-school relations.  Although this information would be helpful for those new to dual immersion, there was also some recent research mentioned that would be beneficial to those who are already familiar with these features.  One thing that makes this book unique is that it also stresses the importance of constructivist strategies for an effective program.  Constructivism is a theory about learning, not a description of teaching.  The authors mention some of the guiding principles of constructivism such as goals, cognitive development, disequilibrium, inquiry, scaffolding, social interactions, and motivation. 

Chapters Three-Seven that comprise Part Two use narratives to describe learning experiences in the classroom.  In each chapter there are shaded boxes that connect the learning experiences to principles and effective practices such as biliteracy, background knowledge, collaborative learning, assessment, scaffolding, vocabulary building, arts, and habits of mind.  The use of these shaded boxes to emphasize these important principles and practices is very effective. 

Chapter Eight—the last chapter—focuses on outcomes, some of which are more important than stellar performance on reading and math exams.  Not only were bilingualism and biliteracy achieved, which were the primary goals, but learners also developed independent thinking abilities, appreciation of diverse groups, and a sense of social justice.  Although it was beneficial to mention these outcomes, more detail about each of them would strengthen the main purpose of the book. 

The audience that could most appreciate this book would be those who want to know why dual immersion is beneficial, what constitutes an effective program, and the benefits of dual immersion for their children or students.  University professors in the education departments (as well as other departments) and their students might also find the book helpful as a resource to other research related to bilingualism and dual immersion.  I highly recommend this book.    

 

Review Author Biography

Barbara (McCauley) Lovejoy has taught for almost 30 years in public, private, and charter schools.  She helped develop a dual immersion program at a district school before becoming an Assistant Director at a dual immersion charter school.  She is now the Executive Director/Principal of a charter school, Esperanza Elementary, that has a 90-10 dual immersion component, that will open August 2013 in Salt Lake City, Utah.